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Still hate my legs. No matter how much weight I loose they remain gross

Still hate my legs. No matter how much weight I loose they remain gross

How long do you take water pills for to reduce fluid retention which I have from them using an iv drip on me ? Thinking about starting to take them for a while

So thirsty!!! Must be dehydrated from the laxatives! But I refuse to drink coz today is weigh day… It’s 4:15 am and I don’t get weighed till 3:30pm -.- I’m gonna die.

So it’s 4am and the laxative are starting to kick in. I’m in agony!!! … Doctor phoned yesterday and apparently my kidney function is off and my potassium is low again so I have to take supplements and I’m guessing that’s happened again because of the laxatives I take by the handful 4 days a week. Why do I continue to do this? I want to recover I just can’t :/

Been out of inpatient for 4 weeks now. I was in for 2 months and gained 2.8kg whilst I was there (it’s meant to be minimum gain of 800g a week but I failed miserably) and since coming home I have nearly lost all the weight I gained. My diet is shite and I’m overdosing on laxatives four days a week.
I have family therapy tomorrow and get weighed … Dreading it!!!….. I need help but nothing’s working for me :(

It’s my last night in inpatient and it’s weigh day tomorrow so I decide to take laxatives because I haven’t been the toilet all week and don’t want all the food inside me and making me heavier and freaking me out. I want an accurate reading on the scale. But stupid me didn’t time it well because they only started kicking in at bed time so I’ve been up and down to the toilet 8+ times and I’m pretty sure the staff are getting suspicious since I have to walk past them all to get to the toilet!!!!

So nervous about going home as well as I’m no better than when I arrived. I’ve gained 2kg in the 2 months I’ve been here and because I haven’t complied with the eating programme they are discharging me. Feel hopeless and like they are giving up on me. They said they aren’t giving up they are just gonna try outpatient again. I don’t think I’m ever going to be free of anorexia. It’s been 3 years now And in that time I’ve had endless outpatient appointments and two inpatient admissions.

I’m now on my last week as an inpatient, they are giving up on me and sending me back to outpatient . I’ve been here 2 months and have only gained 2kg so I’m being discharged for not complying with the programme and gaining the minimum of 800g per week . I know I’m not going to be able to eat at home, nothing has changed mentally and I’m still in a bad place weight wise as 2kg is nothing! … Is recovery even possible for me! It’s so hard! :(

Hello followers, sorry I haven’t been active for a while but I’ve been in inpatient for nearly 2 months. I’m on weekend leave at the moment so finally have access to tumblr!!

Quick update… I was admitted 6 weeks ago and was started on 1/2 portions and slowly built up to full portions. It’s been so difficult and my thoughts seem to have got worse not better. For the first 2 weeks I refused quite a lot of the meals and only gained 1kg in the first month being there as I was purging and exercising but for the past 2 weeks I have been trying hard to reduce my purging and comply with the programme and in total in the 6 weeks I’ve been there I have gained just under 3kg (it’s meant to be 0.8kg per week but oh well).

So I’m being discharged in 2 weeks as I haven’t been complying with the programme. I have told them I’m not ready to leave and my parents won’t be able to cope with me but I am still being discharged as far as I know. I’m only 2.8kg heavier than admission and I’m being discharged with nothing changed mentally and very little physical progress. I’m just going to slip back to my old ways. I’m not sure I want to stay in hospital as I’m scared shitless of gaining weight and loosing my control over food and loosing my anorexia but I’m scared that by being discharged I’m going to get worse and bad things happen. I wasn’t in great physical health when admitted but the slight weight gain has made it improve slightly…. I’m so confused and feel like my care team are giving up on me as its my 2nd admission… It was only meant to be a short admission to kick start my eating but I don’t feel like its done a good enough job for it to continue long term at home.

Anyways sorry for the essay I just needed to vent …. Speak soon, stay strong xoxoxo

Admission number 2 :(

Last night being in my own bed before I go back to inpatient

Going back to inpatient next Tuesday. Hopefully it’s only a 1 month admission this time to kick start my eating. They said if I do 4 weeks then have a review and see what to do next :/ gutted but I need help

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